Ever hopeful, Lawrence Tudgeman
by forty-two dreams
Summary: ...today marks the end of an era in my life. Larry starts a secret notebook never called a journal, and never EVER called a diary. There's a difference.
1. Ethan's Era

This chapter springs from a comment Ethan made during the charity golf game, and from Larry's shirt issues.

I don't own Ethan, Larry, or the most horrendous shirt ever invented.

My name is Lawrence Tudgeman, I am ten years old, and today marks the end of an era in my life. Ethan Craft has officially gone over to the dark side.

The era began two years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Several of my classmates who were no doubt jealous of my superior intellect and good looks were voicing their opinions on certain matters, and I was about to knock them flat-

But I promised to tell the truth in this notebook- I owe it to Ethan. Fine. They were making fun of me for wearing the same outfit every day, and I didn't have a prayer of getting out of there intact. That's when Ethan came along. He had simply said, "Let the Tudge-man alone."

And they did. Because even then, there was something that made you want to listen to Ethan Craft. Some blame it on his hair, but I believe that it goes beyond that.

I had noticed something different about Ethan for the past week. Instead of riding the bus, his dad had taken to driving him to school. His usual pristine appearance was fast fading. He began taking a sack lunch instead of buying it. It could only be one thing- the invasion of a Mr. Mom. I knew.

"Thanks," I said when the bullies had left.

"It's nothing," said Ethan, suddenly looking serious. "Just... now I know what it's like not to have a second shirt to change into."

"Oh, I've got another shirt. I just save it for the weekends."

He told me about his dad losing his job. I told him of having a freelance writer for a dad, which was like him being out of a job permanently, because he was rather awful at it. I had stopped believing in the miracle best-selling novel that was going to save us years ago.

From then on, we were, well, not inseparable, but close. I invited him fishing in the creek that ran through my backyard. We hung out at his mom's barbershop, though I was wary of trying any of her 'miracle shampoos'. Anything that sounded interesting to two eight-year-olds and didn't cost much money, we did. He kept bullies away from me, and when his mom died, mine became sort of a foster mother to him. We spent hours coming up with plots to banish the evil Twitty.

But alas! It has come to an end. Kate Sanders has recently become the first girl in our grade to get a bra, and it has become Ethan's mission in life to get her to pay attention to him. What's a kid to do?

Hmmm. I could always get Kate's friend Lizzie to talk to me. Then Ethan would be sorry!

Ever hopeful,

Lawrence Tudgeman


	2. Kate's Era

My name is Lawrence Tudgeman. I am fourteen years old, and today is the end of an era in my life. I've finally given up on Kate.

Kathrine Sanders has been my object of choice ever since Ethan gave up on her three years ago. There was that one date with Lizzie, but it would have never worked with us, not when Lizzie was so awful to Kate.

I know, Kate seemed to be a lot worse to Lizzie, but it's obvious with Kate it's not sincere. Why can't Lizzie see that? Everything with Kate is a strategic move calculated to boost her popularity.

It's the thing I most love and hate about her. Despite her apparent high status, Kate's one of the most insecure girls I know. Her life revolves around making everyone envy her, which is of course impossible. But she doesn't know that.

More than anything in the world, I want to make her see that it doesn't matter what she does in cheerleading, what she wears, or how her hair looks. Her grades, her friends, and her witty comebacks will all be useless in a year. I want to tell her that everything will be fine. I want to make everything fine for her. I want her to know I love her no matter what.

No, it is not to be. She's afraid to be seen with me, afraid someone might talk. She won't make the leap of faith required to love someone and be loved back. Last week, I playfully told her she was mean and hissed at her. The truth is, she doesn't realize that she can hurt anyone, not when she's too busy worrying about being hurt herself. Katherine Sanders is desperate to die alone, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Hey, there's always Claire!

Ever Hopeful,

Larry Tudgeman


	3. Dad's Era

My name is Lawrence Tudgeman. I am sixteen years old, and today is the end of an era in my life. My father, Garrison Tudgeman, has hit the big times.

Yep, he finally wrote something an editor liked. It's a TV series about a girl in junior high... Anyway, he got the letter this morning, and he hasn't left his study since. On the one hand, we're rich! He's already promised me a shirt for every day of the week, and my mom can go back to school like she's always wanted. Still, I can't help being worried.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I can go to college loan free and my dad's the happiest I've ever seen him. But I'm not sure I'll be able to see him that much anyway. He's going to be busy writing almost all day.

When I was little, he was almost omnipresent. He was always suffering writer's block and all too easy to interrupt. I learned how to throw a football, tie a square knot, and fish from him (not as cool as some of the stuff Ethan's dad taught us, but still pretty neat). Gary Tudgeman was a guy you could talk to any time. I don't know if that's true anymore.

Almost everything I am I learned from him. He taught me to have pride in my actions, even when others didn't like them. He showed me that the popular kids were the ones having the least fun, and that it didn't matter how you looked to the world, but how the world looked to you. He watched me change from a cynical little boy to a strong young man, and I never would have made it without him.

I suppose it's a good thing. When I go to college, I'm really going to miss him. This might ease the separation process (whoa, maybe I am learning something in psych). That doesn't make me feel much better, but it's something.

Ever hopeful,

Larry Tudgeman


	4. Veronica's Era

My name is Lawrence Tudgeman. I am nineteen years old, and today is the end of an era in my life. I realized today that I am not the smartest person at this college. That honor belongs to a girl named Veronica Summers, as do a lot of other admirable qualities.

I was in the library a few weeks ago, rifling through a history book, which I was feeling rather passionate about. It had just occurred to me, like it does to every history student at one time or another, that the world is never, ever going to solve all of its problems. "Why does God hate this planet!" I shouted, causing twenty med students to shush me simultaneously. Veronica, however, came over immediately, seeming to understand my dilemma.

"Chill, it's only a freshman studies class. If you major in politics, then you can get excited. Besides, the Israelis will eventually ally with the Muslims, who will get the Europeans on their side, who will eventually convince the Asians, and after the US blows itself up, boom! Instant World Peace!" It was the strangest thing, but after a few minutes, I realized that she was serious, and what's more, she had _evidence_ for this theory! I hadn't noticed her in class because she was so quiet, but now I know that she was just trying to think of things on her own. Really, she knows everything.

I want to hold her and run my fingers through her coconut-colored hair and look at her all day. I know that sounds like a stupid, fourteen-year-old thing to say, but I can't explain it any better. If it makes me sound more like a college student, I'll say I want to do other things, but I have too much respect for her for that. This is nothing like Kate. This is nothing like anything. I think I'm in love.

Maybe she feels the same?

Ever hopeful,

Lawrence Tudgeman.


	5. Paul's Era

My name is Lawrence Tudgeman. I am twenty-three years old, and today is the end of an era in my life. My life is no longer my own. Instead, as of six hours ago, it belongs to a baby called Paul.

Wow, he looks just like Veronica! I can't believe I have a son, who I can teach and nurture and shape. What if I don't do it right?

But I have Veronica to tell me when I'm being an idiot. I get to watch him grow up like my father watched me, and I know I'll love every minute of it. Maybe I can even make sure he doesn't make some of the same mistakes, and someday, he'll be as happy with his wife as I am with mine.

Ever hopeful,

Lawrence Tudgeman.

_fin_


End file.
